Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
