I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize