You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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