Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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