its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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