She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Four minutes until I can fart!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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