can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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