So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize