I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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