she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
