Im at strip club and am horny
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
