he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
