she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
