just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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