Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Every concussion has its silver lining
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
