It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
