How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
