FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
