I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
