We named our party play list daddy issues
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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