Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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