yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
