why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
