butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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