i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I understand Curling. That high.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
