Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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