She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize