I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
