Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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