.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
