fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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