He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
