your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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