He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
