I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
