I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
sarcasm needs its own font
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
