she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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