from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
