She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just want nice things and good sex
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
