shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
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