What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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