"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
