I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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