guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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