I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
