is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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