My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
