New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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