she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
