yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
