I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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