i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize