whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
