apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i will never coherently bang her
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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