You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
