Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
