guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
