At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize