I bet he comes in French.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
