dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
