what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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