I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
