woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
