I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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