What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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